Thirty One.

Today is my birthday. 

I am 31. (Weird.)

Well, I can look back and say that life certainly does not always go the way we plan it for ourselves and I'm so thankful. God has a much bigger plan than we could ever hope or imagine. And while to some, staying home mothering little ones, cleaning house, and cooking meals doesn't seem like a big accomplishment, even on those hard days, there's no where else I would rather be. This is where God has placed me. There is nothing more important that I could have done with the past decade of my life than birth, nourish and nurture precious lives.  And it took me a while but I am now realizing that this is my calling. This is right where I should be. The home we live in. My husband who works so hard. These little children who call me Mama. This is my mission field. 

I remember saying in my early twenties that I never wanted to be one of those people who was always trying to reminisce about years gone by, trying to hide how old they were, thinking if only they were 10 or 20 years younger again. I will be satisfied and joyful in whatever season of life I am in right  now and enjoy it. I want contentment to be the state of my heart at all times.

So, here's to 31 wonderful years and hopefully many more. Thank you Jesus for this life that I've been given. Help me not to squander the talents and waste the time you've blessed me with. No matter what  happens in the years to come, I will continue to turn my eyes to You, the author and finisher of my faith. 

"I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13 NLT

"A man's heart plans his way but the Lord directs his steps."         Proverbs 16:9

Coffee with Ryan before he leaves for work, NOT washing any dishes and indulging in something chocolate-y before the days end are my big birthday plans. My heart is full. 

Intentional... Undistracted... Really living...

2015... It's hard to believe. Now I know why my parents and grandparents talk about how the years fly by before your eyes. It's true. I don't usually set New Years resolutions because, to be honest, I've never been very much of the follow through type. I have great intentions to be a better friend, to improve myself, to go to bed earlier and wake up earlier, to read more, yell less... If only intentions were all that counted. Well they aren't. Sadly, I have been wasting precious moments of my life doing things that don't matter. I have been letting life pass me by. And without making some kind of resolution, it will continue to pass right by me.

 I am determined that this is not going to happen. I am going to make life count. I am going to do things that matter. I am going to color. I am going to cuddle. I am going to breathe in the sweet moments of life without something always distracting me. I am going to read my bible. I am going to make eye contact. I am going to listen. Really listen. I am going to sing. And laugh. I am going to be intentional about taking in the moments of life. The things that really matter. The eternal things. The things I will not regret. The chubby hand of a toddler holding tight to mine. The soft, sweet smelling head of my little babe. The child humming in the kitchen. The uninhibited laughter. The witty joke. The silly, made up song. The secret whispered in my ear. The smiling eyes. The profound conversations. The inside jokes. The tears.  All of it. It's easy to get wrapped up in the meaningless so much that we forget what is truly here right now... What is important... valuable... everlasting. 

I have six children who need a present, undistracted mom and a husband that means the world to me. I want to show them that, not just tell them that. I want this to be the year that I learn to love the people around me and soak in all of the little wonders in my life. The joy, the pain and everything in between. 

"Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain..."